I’m too busy for self-care. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. I can work like a machine. I’ve eaten work cafeteria food for days. I’ll power through. Next week, month, or year will be better. I just need to get through this. That pit in my stomach – it is easy enough to ignore. Did I just lash out at a loved one? They know I’m stressed.
This can’t go on. There has to be a better way. Is this really my life?
Enter Mindfulness
Do you mean I don’t have to be carried away by these thoughts? I don’t have to live in judgment and shame? My thoughts are not me? But, it hurts to feel. You’re telling me that’s okay? I am supposed to feel this in my heart? In my gut? In my neck and back? You’re telling me these feelings are temporary and ever-changing?
But it takes too long. I’ve got dinner to make and 7000 appointments. There are so many emails to answer and I haven’t gotten all my steps. I’m not eating right, and I need to call my mom. It all feels like a weight crashing down on me. So many expectations and I can’t live up to them all.
Just stop and breathe? Take a moment and pause? How will that make any difference? I’m a bundle of knots. I can’t relax. What do you mean that’s okay? I just go within and have self-compassion?
Isn’t meditation about focusing thoughts? Mine are everywhere. I have a constant to-do list running and it is hard to keep up. Need more Listerine, email Marie about data, change the oil, check on Dad in the hospital, call your sister, get a haircut. How long since my last tetanus shot? Massage? Breast exam?
With all this going on how can I fit in mindfulness? Mindful moments? Maybe I have a moment.
5 Tips for Minds like Mine
Pause for Positivity
Pause – receive the compliment, hear kind words, observe the good in humanity, see the beauty, feel the love – pause – soak it in – stay with it – where do you feel it? Build your neural pathways and capacity for positive emotions.
Break for Beauty
The way the clouds look in the sky, the brilliant color blue of the water, the flower growing in the parking lot. Noticing, looking, and taking in the beauty around me has helped me have a more grateful heart and enjoy life. Even when the day has been long or I’ve just received bad news, I can look to what pleases my eyes and know that joy exists in the world.
Notice the Negative
I am not my thoughts. This helps especially when I am feeling angry, pessimistic, judgmental, frustrated, overwhelmed – or all of these and more. I can be aware of my emotions and not be pulled by them. The thoughts and emotions will pass, my head will clear, and I can choose to move forward with positivity and compassion.
Let Gratitude Guide You
When you think of something you are grateful for – savor it – express it. Let people around you know and feel your gratitude. Look to feel the positivity, celebrate the success, and build the good feeling connections in the brain
Take Time to Transition
Honor beginning and endings. Pause at the threshold, the morning, the evening, the new year, the new life, the passing. Take a moment to be grateful and set an intention for what is next.
Author: Renee Dimino
Mindful Life Connections 